People first Language

I hear far too often that Politically Correct language changes constantly, & they can't keep up w/it all. In reality People first & disability language has been the same for more than 15 years. It also shows no sign of changing, so it seems to me worth knowing. I learned it the first opportunity I had. I try to accept, & respect others to the best of my ability, no matter how often I must learn something new.

People first, means you refer to the person first ALWAYS! No matter what diagnosis they have, they are not their diagnosis. This is true even when the disease or disability take over a large part of the persons life. Just as a person with cancer, is not cancer. Even though they may be spending a large portion of their time dealing with treatments, & the effects of it. This is true of any diagnosis. A person remains a person, & deserves to be treated the same as anyone else!

The most important label is their name. If that is not appropriate to use, any other term referring to them as a person is appropriate.

Many people don't want to be labeled, in any way, whether it's an illness, disability, race, faith, or style, they still want to just be themselves. Personal preference as to what they choose to be called, & what they call their problem matters! It also is sometimes made an issue, when it doesn't need to be. There are many times people over use labels, telling everyone they meet, or in every introduction when it's really not always every ones business. Avoid using one at all, except when you have to do so for a reason.

Words for disabilities, & how they are used has been a big deal in the news lately.

For many of us, who have been trying to inform others for many years. These words cut like a knife! For me it's an insult to me & those I love. I will list below many terms, most are considered outdated at best, & offensive at worst to many.

Disability - means a lack of ability, & is the respectful word to use when talking about someones disabilities. In fact it is the only general word for a disability that is politically correct, & has been for close to 20 years.

Retarded - is a out of date medical diagnosis. Mental Retardation (MR) was used to describe a large group of people who were different physically, or later intellectually. Those people were not treated as people. They were thrown together, with little regard for age, sex, problem, race, religion...All that mattered is they were away from the rest of the world. They weren't treated as people, or taught at all. Basically it really was a word that described people less than human. This is why it bothers many of us. To make things worse, it is now a word people use to describe something stupid, or that they don't like. That has made it Derogatory, & with it's history, even a slur.

Handicapped -Thought to come from a combination of two things. One word is having a cap in the hand. In other words the beggar. The second was from a game in England. The one w/the cap being the looser. A bit like old maid, it's not what you want to end up w/or be called. It is also used now to refer to inanimate objects. A word that describes inanimate objects, isn't a word to describe a person w/problems, or person in general.

Disabled -Disabled means permanently broken, or turned off. Since a person themselves can't be turned off, that doesn't work. The other almost sounds possible, but although a body can be broken, the person can still work on therapeutic treatments to regain, or help problems, making them never permanently broken. It also is an acceptable word to use regarding inanimate objects.

idiot - This is one most don't understand, but it was the word before retarded, used to describe the people that were put away from the public, & treated far worse than animals. There are people alive who still have this diagnosis in their past, so for me, & a few others, it's unusable.

Moron - Another word w/the same idea as Retarded, but is less thought about.

The first thing about respect of course is to refer to someone else, as they want to be refereed as. I call friends & family what they want to be called, it seems only right to do the same for others. Calling someone the name they wish to be called, as long as it isn't offensive to others is something many people do w/people they know, but the same rings true for what they call their diagnosis, no matter what it is. Around others with the same diagnosis they may not like the persons choice, so it's good to keep in mind that even commonly used words that describe a person, or group of people, can be offensive to many others.

It makes a difference to treat others as people, not their problems. It is a key to happiness & acceptance, & shows them respect for who they are.

My Truth - preventative health care

Hopefully I don't loose a lot of friends posting this, but it is what I know. You don't have to agree, but it's me, & I guess it's just sad if someone can choose to dislike me because I state an opinion. I guess it would mean it's a very conditional relationship.
This isn't about Obama, although I find it very odd that talking bad about Bush was called treason, but many of the same people say horrible things about Obama. I hope those who do would have changed their opinion about someone not like Bush's choices. Really they are both Presidents, who have made choices that some people really liked, & some people really hated. It seems if you dislike one, you should be able to allow someone else to dislike the other even if you don't agree. That is really not the point of this, but maybe pointing out you don't have to like what I say...I agree that you have the right to say another opinion too. I am not saying this to offend, or defend, it's just my truth!
The health care plan as it is, is far from perfect, a lot of changes will need to be made. If you look at many past choices by the government, changes were made along the way. To many important choices throughout history.
People aren't seeing the whole picture...I am only talking about preventative care, not what is the plan, just what I have seen & know personally.
I am one of many who had a problem that could have been helped, but wasn't because my problems started just as I was too old for my mom's insurance. I then had preexisting conditions, & couldn't afford private insurance, & w/out needed medicine I wasn't able to maintain the hrs to be covered at work. I had been a workaholic before, & loved my work, I would give anything to have it all back! I continued to work less & less, but at the same job. My meds were too much to buy, & PCN didn't cover enough to help. W/generic meds alone I could’ve worked enough, & it would’ve prevented so much damage! W/out I got worse & worse, the Dr's tried to find any way they could to help, but it wasn't enough.
I’m now on disability, which I didn't want, but was forced to have. Most don’t know that to get Medicaid, it's a requirement(w/disabilities) to have SSI. I was able to work only a few hours, so I was being cared for by family. I’m unable to do much w/out help, & am struggling to type this. If I had been able to have the care I needed, I’d likely still be working, maybe full time? I’d have finished college which I had to quit because of my health. If I were able to work full time, I’d have insurance through work. I maybe would have needed more help in a decade or so, but I lost a lot not having the needed medical care.
I am costing the country more than I would have, had I had any preventative care! This is true of many people. Truly I had to wait until things were so bad that I had lost most I loved or wanted, before I could get help, & w/me, I won’t get that back. I will keep trying to find ways, but truly almost every wish, plan, goal, dream I had involved helping people. That is truly all I have ever wanted to do, & can only hope I find a way to do so now.
People may not like this, but if your child fell w/in the uninsurable range, as many do in this country, or became like me, you might feel different. I don’t want others who are now able to be helped to end up like me, simply because they can’t get help yet. I once did the math, the preventative meds, were such a small amount compared to what I need now. They could have saved so much, & I’m only 31, I could have been adding money through taxes & all, instead of being forced to have SSI & Medicaid to live. If problems are prevented it will save so much, & a lot of what people complain about is how Medicaid is. Anyone could have a problem tomorrow & be forced into Medicaid, where truly you are grateful for anything. Preventing may not be obvious, as saving our country money, but truly that alone…the savings would be staggering, let alone just saving peoples lives, maybe yours?
Well & I do believe every child should be covered, all kids should have what they need, where they are!
Just my opinion & something to think about.

Spoiled, growing up with divorced parents

Growing up I was always spoiled. I often said it was because my parents(who divorced when I was 5)competed to find the best presents. While this was true, the best gift of all was that for ten years after I was able to have both parents on holidays. I knew this was an incredible thing since no one I knew with divorced parents had such an arrangement. I was blessed to have parents who were amazing that way. I know it was because BOTH made such a strong effort to do so. I know that no matter how much one person tried it would not work without both trying. One parents wishes alone would never have been enough.
They worked better after they were divorced than they did when they were married. My mom had us most the time, but allowed my dad to take us anytime that worked. He was never late to pay child support, & was consistently there for us. Most of all on Christmas & other holidays & special days, my dad came early in the morning. For Christmas he was there for us to open gifts, & would stay with us the entire day, even coming to to my Mom's family's house for Christmas diner. Both making an extraordinary effort, giving us the best of both of them. We didn't feel we missed out on anything & didn't have to choose, or have it decided for us. That was better than any gift they could buy! Now I am even more grateful since my dad died very young. I am so glad I had those times with both of them, & was able to spend more time with both my parents than I would have been able to separately, & that is greater than anything I could have ever been bought.

Happy December Birthdays

This month is filled with Birthdays, I hope it's a great day for everyone!

To the Princesses, love you both lots &

I was so glad to be able to come to your party, it was so fun even with all the snow!

Too much, too fast, now so stuck

On Thanksgiving day as I stayed home alone again, unable to get beyond my stubborn body. I decided to ask for the most help I've dared thus far, & that courage took days to muster. I wanted to sit by Christmas, & hopefully avoid missing another holiday w/my family. It was brave, but didn't seem huge, like a brace to help me sit up, not w/out pain, just to sit up. Just to try, if it didn't work at least something new would be ruled out.
I was very wrong, my calls left me unsure of what I should do when I'd usually go in again. I'm now on a 5 month waiting list for a pain clinic...not the problem most urgent, & many holidays & a vacation away that I had hoped to be part of. I'm beyond frustrated, & left to start over w/someone new. To start over w/finding answers, & everything else on my own. Not a 1st, but sad since this Dr had helped me so much, & I had hope for more, but now...I guess I gotta believe there is someone out there that will be willing to try & help me again.

&

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope your holiday is one filled with love, laughter, & all the important things that make good memories for years to come!

Charlie

Today's thankful post is about pets, specifically my current pet Charlie. When I was little I tried to bring home almost everything including a goat. I've mostly only kept cats as pets long term, but don't have a favorite. Over the years I've taken in the "runt" & sick animals to love & care for temporarily. Even when they don't have a good chance of living, if they are happy, I try to just love them all I can.
Charlie came into my life a few hours after my 23 year old cat died. I didn't want another pet, I had decided that months before...
Then there was a loud noise not like anything I had heard before. My mom went out to investigate & started yelling to me saying,"it's awful, it's just so awful." It took seconds, even in the dark, to see what was wrong. A kitten had somehow gotten it's paw stuck in the hinge side of the car door, that hadn't even been opened. He hung swinging & spinning from his paw, frantically trying to free himself. I quickly got him loose, & he & ran into the night. I asked my mom for a ride, to take him to the vet in the morning. She didn't believe I could, & the next morning stood nervous & was surprised when I walked over & picked him up.
He was purring instantly, & even now a few years later, it's constant. He hadn't broken anything, probably because of his age, only about 3 weeks old. He was running a fever & was diagnosed w/encephalitis, from his mom being sick during her pregnancy. He needed antibiotics, & wouldn't survive w/out them back w/his mom, likely not anyway. Several if not all of the others died before I could get to them. I had braced myself for him to die as well...he was so happy but very sick. He seemed to be blind, & had seizures, I watched him constantly for some sign of being in pain, or unhappy, but there was none, he just kept purring. Several weeks later he was growing & having less problems...now he's healthy, the only reminder is that his head tilts to the left always, & he has depth perception problems, so he falls off furniture at times, but just is happy where he lands.

We call him Charlie Bucket because his personality is so much like Charlie & the Chocolate factory. He's so loving, & when I'm sick he won't leave my side even for food, & has even helped me. One vet asked does he do things, like play? He actually has such a strong personality that I guess wouldn't have been expected. When he plays, he loves diet Coke caps. The second someone needs him though he's back trying to help. He doesn't even expect to be petted, instead he lays on my hand, & moves his head.
When he's not taking care of me, he goes outside & takes care of other animals. He curls up w/any animal, & once a bug... but sadly it's not easy to snuggle with a bug, & it was flattened. He was so sad, crying & laying next to it watching for a long time.
He's so caring that he gets so upset if someone crying on TV, if they cry long he gets a bit frantic searching for the person who's upset.
He often brings strays home, which then he will sit & wait until they've finished eating before he eats. I've tried to take some of them to a place I found that takes care of them but haven't figured out how yet, because they would need to all go at once. He has brought in an extra several times if the door is open(the grey visitor)once it looked like he gave them a tour...they followed him from room to room in a line, like little ducks, then went back outside.
Phoenix is Charlie's baby, another story, but he has taken care of her since she was a couple weeks old. Bathing her, showing her things. She even tried to nurse his back but for some reason it never worked. He acted so much like a momma cat, w/her & still does. He is great company for me, & it really helps to have such an easy pet, & one who makes life so interesting.