Spoiled, growing up with divorced parents

Growing up I was always spoiled. I often said it was because my parents(who divorced when I was 5)competed to find the best presents. While this was true, the best gift of all was that for ten years after I was able to have both parents on holidays. I knew this was an incredible thing since no one I knew with divorced parents had such an arrangement. I was blessed to have parents who were amazing that way. I know it was because BOTH made such a strong effort to do so. I know that no matter how much one person tried it would not work without both trying. One parents wishes alone would never have been enough.
They worked better after they were divorced than they did when they were married. My mom had us most the time, but allowed my dad to take us anytime that worked. He was never late to pay child support, & was consistently there for us. Most of all on Christmas & other holidays & special days, my dad came early in the morning. For Christmas he was there for us to open gifts, & would stay with us the entire day, even coming to to my Mom's family's house for Christmas diner. Both making an extraordinary effort, giving us the best of both of them. We didn't feel we missed out on anything & didn't have to choose, or have it decided for us. That was better than any gift they could buy! Now I am even more grateful since my dad died very young. I am so glad I had those times with both of them, & was able to spend more time with both my parents than I would have been able to separately, & that is greater than anything I could have ever been bought.

Happy December Birthdays

This month is filled with Birthdays, I hope it's a great day for everyone!

To the Princesses, love you both lots &

I was so glad to be able to come to your party, it was so fun even with all the snow!

Too much, too fast, now so stuck

On Thanksgiving day as I stayed home alone again, unable to get beyond my stubborn body. I decided to ask for the most help I've dared thus far, & that courage took days to muster. I wanted to sit by Christmas, & hopefully avoid missing another holiday w/my family. It was brave, but didn't seem huge, like a brace to help me sit up, not w/out pain, just to sit up. Just to try, if it didn't work at least something new would be ruled out.
I was very wrong, my calls left me unsure of what I should do when I'd usually go in again. I'm now on a 5 month waiting list for a pain clinic...not the problem most urgent, & many holidays & a vacation away that I had hoped to be part of. I'm beyond frustrated, & left to start over w/someone new. To start over w/finding answers, & everything else on my own. Not a 1st, but sad since this Dr had helped me so much, & I had hope for more, but now...I guess I gotta believe there is someone out there that will be willing to try & help me again.

&

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope your holiday is one filled with love, laughter, & all the important things that make good memories for years to come!

Charlie

Today's thankful post is about pets, specifically my current pet Charlie. When I was little I tried to bring home almost everything including a goat. I've mostly only kept cats as pets long term, but don't have a favorite. Over the years I've taken in the "runt" & sick animals to love & care for temporarily. Even when they don't have a good chance of living, if they are happy, I try to just love them all I can.
Charlie came into my life a few hours after my 23 year old cat died. I didn't want another pet, I had decided that months before...
Then there was a loud noise not like anything I had heard before. My mom went out to investigate & started yelling to me saying,"it's awful, it's just so awful." It took seconds, even in the dark, to see what was wrong. A kitten had somehow gotten it's paw stuck in the hinge side of the car door, that hadn't even been opened. He hung swinging & spinning from his paw, frantically trying to free himself. I quickly got him loose, & he & ran into the night. I asked my mom for a ride, to take him to the vet in the morning. She didn't believe I could, & the next morning stood nervous & was surprised when I walked over & picked him up.
He was purring instantly, & even now a few years later, it's constant. He hadn't broken anything, probably because of his age, only about 3 weeks old. He was running a fever & was diagnosed w/encephalitis, from his mom being sick during her pregnancy. He needed antibiotics, & wouldn't survive w/out them back w/his mom, likely not anyway. Several if not all of the others died before I could get to them. I had braced myself for him to die as well...he was so happy but very sick. He seemed to be blind, & had seizures, I watched him constantly for some sign of being in pain, or unhappy, but there was none, he just kept purring. Several weeks later he was growing & having less problems...now he's healthy, the only reminder is that his head tilts to the left always, & he has depth perception problems, so he falls off furniture at times, but just is happy where he lands.

We call him Charlie Bucket because his personality is so much like Charlie & the Chocolate factory. He's so loving, & when I'm sick he won't leave my side even for food, & has even helped me. One vet asked does he do things, like play? He actually has such a strong personality that I guess wouldn't have been expected. When he plays, he loves diet Coke caps. The second someone needs him though he's back trying to help. He doesn't even expect to be petted, instead he lays on my hand, & moves his head.
When he's not taking care of me, he goes outside & takes care of other animals. He curls up w/any animal, & once a bug... but sadly it's not easy to snuggle with a bug, & it was flattened. He was so sad, crying & laying next to it watching for a long time.
He's so caring that he gets so upset if someone crying on TV, if they cry long he gets a bit frantic searching for the person who's upset.
He often brings strays home, which then he will sit & wait until they've finished eating before he eats. I've tried to take some of them to a place I found that takes care of them but haven't figured out how yet, because they would need to all go at once. He has brought in an extra several times if the door is open(the grey visitor)once it looked like he gave them a tour...they followed him from room to room in a line, like little ducks, then went back outside.
Phoenix is Charlie's baby, another story, but he has taken care of her since she was a couple weeks old. Bathing her, showing her things. She even tried to nurse his back but for some reason it never worked. He acted so much like a momma cat, w/her & still does. He is great company for me, & it really helps to have such an easy pet, & one who makes life so interesting.

I am

So, I haven't been able to post as often as I had hoped. I tried though, & did think more about what I am thankful for, than I think I would have, had I not started this. I hope I still can keep this up at least once a month after November.
Today's thankful post is about being different. My life has always been different, & even though not everything has been good...I wouldn't know what I know, or be who I am without a lot of it. The song is again one I like, that for me fits this subject of owning the differences we each have.

I am a contradiction to myself in some ways. I am a Gemini & a Cancer, born on the day in between. I've been the oldest & a middle child. I've been a caregiver, family member, advocate, patient, volunteer & friend. I've ended up seeing life from so many perspectives that hopefully I can relate to more people, & know more than I would have otherwise.

My mom had a home daycare which felt like I had many brothers & sisters. I learned how to calm a baby, cook for many, & take care of & deal w/people w/all different types of personalities. I can deal with anything, & am rarely surprised by what anyone tells me. Most of all I learned patience, it's really, really hard to make me angry. I don't tend to get frustrated, or flustered, & because noise was a norm, I have been able to help people that others couldn't deal with.

I also spent so much time with my Papa(grandpa) & cousins. He took care of us, & it was great to have someone who taught me so much, & to be so close to family. I had a lot of amazing family all around each taught me something important. An aunt gave me the opportunity to feed the homeless & help in other ways that definitely effected the way I think of things, & live. I was lucky enough to know & be loved by someone who joined our family from another country when I was a baby. From them I learned about another culture, & how amazing our world & everyone is beyond where I live. My dad was a pilot & skydiver, & it was so fun to be able to hang out & see a lot of things that no one else ever has. I loved to fly! It was a unique life & it was mine.
Thanks to my learning disabilities, I had to fight to learn...I had trouble communicating, still do to a point. I relate to people who can't speak, sometimes better than those who can. I use songs, movies & quotes to express what I feel.
My physical problems have shown me a totally different life. It's not easy, & I would often wish things away if I could. I'm often ashamed, have lost friends, dreams, & had to fight for a lot. It is because of all of this that I have tried to fight for so much. I know things now that others don't, & have a voice to share it. The ways I am different are the ways that I can make a difference, & why I am me. It won't change the way people treat me, but if it helps with something...maybe just maybe all of it will be worth it. At the very least I know the way I treat others is difference thanks to my experiences, & hopefully will make a difference, to give someone else the support or help them find what they need. Those who take the time usually learn something, or so I've been told, which is reason enough to keep on, & facing whatever may come.
We are all individuals, & when we judge someone, we miss out on knowing something that might have been wonderful. I appreciate those who have given me a chance, & who have taught me so much!

Insurance again, YEAH!!!

I finally have insurance again, after a long 3 week lapse in coverage. They renew my case every year, & I didn't get the paperwork, & other problems, which delayed my review.
So...for 3 weeks I didn't have any medication, which was not good for me. I am so lucky I made it that long, & seem to have only suffered muscle loss, which happens sometimes even with the medicines. The medicines just lessen the feeling(it's like a charlie horse that doesn't quit)I was very lucky that nothing bad happened, & even luckier to now have insurance. For me to buy insurance a few years back, because of my problems, it would have been 3-4 times more every month. than what I earned each month.
For me to be able to go on vacation in a couple months, I need to have gotten many needs met. It will be my first trip in 10 years, & will be so fun, I just gotta fight now to be able to enjoy every moment possible then. This gives me the opportunity, although frightening, to find answers, & hopefully some creative solutions. Being a medical Zebra makes it hard for Dr's to treat me because I am soooo different.
I also know what it's like to have no insurance & uninsurable. I acquired bills that I am still paying for, & had to see people not by who could help best, but by who was the very cheapest. Luckily I had family help, or I would have been so far over my head, that I would have never gotten out of debt.

Having no insurance is a downward spiral for those of us that are uninsurable. Then the only way to get it, is work full time, but with the massive cost of prescription drugs, many can't get what they need, & without get worse & worse till they aren't able to work at all, but the bills keep coming. At one point with me, my Dr would tease me because I sold many of my belongings to pay for bills, & to get my hearing aids. I didn't mind doing that, but still it wasn't enough.

I cried when I had to apply for medicaid, & go through the whole process, I just wanted my life back & to work. Then, when I was approved I cried w/relief knowing I could now get most the medications that were recommended, & slow the progression or deterioration. It is a lifeline that too few who need it have.

I am so grateful to be able to attend appointments, get medications as needed, & have that help! I'm also grateful that if a Doctor can't help me, I can see another, I may have to go farther, but I am never stuck, & have had so many amazing people to help the past while. I always have had at least one, but now it's all, & that makes a huge difference.
When I volunteered with homeless families, almost all had the same reason for their situation. They were typical families who had a child who became very sick. Insurance was not available to them, or not adequate before. Then once a person has a preexisting condition, it's expensive to buy, & a process to get anything else.

If a child is very sick, even with insurance medical bills can be staggering, & often 1 parent had to stop working to take care of the child making it even more of a problem. NONE of the parents I saw were "bad" people, or parents. They loved their children so much that they lost a lot saving them. I've heard people say, well if they can't pay for a child they shouldn't have had it. If children were only born to those who could afford them, almost no one would have them. Medical bills can cost more than a really nice home. ALL the Children are worth the fight for their lives, & I hope more people understand how important insurance can be. To see these loving parents who lost their homes in saving their babies was a big lesson for me. The ones I met adored their children, & did everything they could to take care of them. They worked so hard to get into their new homes, & take care of their very precious children.

There are so many stories out there...& of course this is not my full story either, but with any problem proper care helps, & the sooner it's received the better someone is. Preventative & simple care can save lives.

My sponsor child who I had while I was a teenager, died of something that apparently is almost unheard of in most places. He had the food, books, and some medical care, but not everything that is needed to know & treat basic problems. I really took for granted then that needed medical equipment was prevalent everywhere, after all my dad's work was filled with equipment, but not everyone could fix it like him, when something was wrong, & lacked the resources to do so.

I wish I hadn't had the lapse, but I will appreciate it even more I think, & know I am lucky to have it back again.

Laughter may truly be

the best medicine,

but it's usually not

the only one needed.

Religion ♫We are one♫

Today's thankful post is about religion, as a whole, not mine alone. This song to me fits what I think. It is ♫We are one♫ by the Veronica's. It is what I wish more people could see, & appreciate...we are still all People. We may worship in all different ways, with very different beliefs, but when each finds the way that is right for them...so much good can happen. I have seen people of all religions helped through the worst of life through their faith. Ideally it can bring strength, comfort, & hope. Those are things that everyone needs.

Of course no religion is free from extremes, or people who hurt others, but that doesn't mean they are representing all. People who hurt in the name of religion are seldom truly following the religion they claim to be. Likewise religion doesn't make people automatically good, there are in fact wonderful people who are atheists, but do much more for the well being of others than those who claim they are the most perfect. Judging a religion by a small few, or rumors, seldom gives a good idea of the people who are members & doing their best to follow. I am no different, having been hurt by some members of a religion, I still find it hard to let go of the pain caused. It seems too often we are separated, religion against religion, people against people.

I have seen amazing things when religions come together. For many years I was blessed to know of a group that helped homeless families. It consisted of members of so many religions, working side by side to help wonderful families who had lost their homes. It was very successful in helping almost all recover, & we did so together. Everyone contributed, various religions taking turns hosting the families, they & volunteers staying in their house of worship. Not all of us who stayed were members of the religion of that church, but we treated it with all the respect we would our own. We worked side by side to gather & or make donations. We were not divided by our religions, we knew of each others, but didn't fight about it. We didn't speak of your belief or my belief between us we spoke only of our . We worked as one, loved as one, we were there for the same purpose, to help. I know of so many other ways religions have helped, together, without fighting, hating, or hurting. We are one...& that one, can accomplish amazing things together.

I wish we could understand one another a little better, get along a lot better, and that more people understood that a religious book, is a religious book, no matter the religion or who believes it. A sacred place, or church is important, because for believer's it's a huge part of their world. Regardless of the religion, I still cry for the believer, when any building or important item for them is vandalized or destroyed.

For those who
it IS their

Their religion doesn't change those feelings, or the importance of what is sacred to them.
In my life I have been helped & loved by People who were Christians, Buddhist, Jewish, Atheists & many more. I am grateful to them all, & what their beliefs gave them!

"First they came for the communists,
and I did not speak out—
because I was not a communist;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then they came for the socialists,
and I did not speak out—
because I was not a socialist;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I did not speak out—
because I was not a trade unionist;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then they came for the Jews,
and I did not speak out—
because I was not a Jew;
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then they came for me—
and there was no one left to speak out for me."
-attributed to Pastor Martin Niemöller