This week was such a long week! A upgrade in the usual bunch that come messed up my computer so bad, and isn't easy to remove. Something like VirusXP2008 made it so my computer and Internet wouldn't work well, and caused so many problems. It wouldn't uninstall, and the tech people wouldn't help, the only way to fix it is to buy the full version which I wouldn't do. It took hours of searching files before I found all parts of the application, listed under other names. I am so mad at them right now.
This week also my aunt had knee surgery but seems to be doing well today in an aftercare facility.
Bryn threw herself an early Birthday party, I guess because of the weather is better now than October. She Texted 30 friends who then were to text 30 more. Easy enough invites and the turnout was around 200. She's so funny with the whole text chain letter invite. I still haven't talked to her but wouldn't be surprised if she knew all that came. Sounds like it was fun though, and actually outside as she wanted.
Kenna started going on visitations this week. She just got home from her first overnight. I was so worried, and I am so glad she is home safe with her Mommy again. Daddy is not going to be happy when he has to pay his first payment of Child support, and considering how he has acted when he wasn't paying this last year, I dread when that comes into play. There wasn't an order until this week, but it'd have been good to make sure his child had food or diapers before the court makes him.
Now to start the week all over again.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Help, in so many ways
I have tended to leave certain subjects out completely out of shame mostly, which I want to work on. I would be sad to loose people because of something I say, but better that then try to hide what I can not. A life of hiding is lonely and doesn't do any worse than telling people and having them not want to see me anymore.
I also have learned thanks to my OT and some others, and have gained good, and want them to know how eternally grateful I am for all the good they allowed me.
The Beetles song, "Help" is exactly how I feel towards them, and although I miss my OT so much, I hope all the good possible can come from that move. I don't know that anyone has ever helped me more, and it seems only fitting that I fight to keep the confidence and strength I have gained having had her to help me. Thanks to her, and others who are kind to me no matter how I am, or am not.
I also want the kids to know how I feel, I would be leaving out a great deal. Brady and Tage especially give me a boost that helps so much. I want them to know that always. Brady loved my walker which is out of commission and no longer needed. He told everyone it was his first set of wheels, and it was fun to be able to give the kids rides on it, good exercise too. He also likes my "purple ears" my hearing aids, and I know when I deal with people who make fun of me it really helps to think of those times.
Tage is different in that he seems to think I have superpowers
, or that things give me extra something. My leg braces he is determined allow me to run faster.
Someday I hope to prove him right. He tried them on every time I saw him and it was only reciently that he could stand with them. They reach his hip and are definatly something that slows him down, but I have some funny photos, and video, and just appreciate his view so much. My forearm crutches are amazing, I think I did mention them before, I don't fall with them, and they work with Kenetic energy making it much easier to walk. Those Tage calls my "light savers" sabers, and good for sword fights. I think he is a born fencer, but their are no sports I know of that he can not do. Those moments are what keep me going when I am alone, or made fun of, or treated as people do. They keep me going, and although I hope to go without braces or crutches someday, I know I withstand so much more because of them, and other children who truly accept me for who I am.
I wish the world or just more people were much more like them, life sure would be an easier place if there were fewer closed minds, and judgements with everything. Maybe that will be my goal to be more that way myself, and hope to find more people like that if I can try to be more that way myself.
I also have learned thanks to my OT and some others, and have gained good, and want them to know how eternally grateful I am for all the good they allowed me.
The Beetles song, "Help" is exactly how I feel towards them, and although I miss my OT so much, I hope all the good possible can come from that move. I don't know that anyone has ever helped me more, and it seems only fitting that I fight to keep the confidence and strength I have gained having had her to help me. Thanks to her, and others who are kind to me no matter how I am, or am not.
I also want the kids to know how I feel, I would be leaving out a great deal. Brady and Tage especially give me a boost that helps so much. I want them to know that always. Brady loved my walker which is out of commission and no longer needed. He told everyone it was his first set of wheels, and it was fun to be able to give the kids rides on it, good exercise too. He also likes my "purple ears" my hearing aids, and I know when I deal with people who make fun of me it really helps to think of those times.
Tage is different in that he seems to think I have superpowers
, or that things give me extra something. My leg braces he is determined allow me to run faster. Someday I hope to prove him right. He tried them on every time I saw him and it was only reciently that he could stand with them. They reach his hip and are definatly something that slows him down, but I have some funny photos, and video, and just appreciate his view so much. My forearm crutches are amazing, I think I did mention them before, I don't fall with them, and they work with Kenetic energy making it much easier to walk. Those Tage calls my "light savers" sabers, and good for sword fights. I think he is a born fencer, but their are no sports I know of that he can not do. Those moments are what keep me going when I am alone, or made fun of, or treated as people do. They keep me going, and although I hope to go without braces or crutches someday, I know I withstand so much more because of them, and other children who truly accept me for who I am.I wish the world or just more people were much more like them, life sure would be an easier place if there were fewer closed minds, and judgements with everything. Maybe that will be my goal to be more that way myself, and hope to find more people like that if I can try to be more that way myself.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Gone so long
It's been a while since I blogged, as if I ever wrote regularly. I have been between computer problems, and life drama. Luckily very little to do with me. There are also many entries I have set as private since I started this like a journal that someday the kids or anyone else can look at and see how I feel. Some of those things as anyone who read them will understand have a time and place, and probably for certain people only.
I still have Mimi's cat Sylvia who is not as thin anymore, and beyond happy with the pillowtop I now have. I would hope Mimi would be happy with him being alive and with me, Mojo we know is where he was always meant to be.
I knew all to well what would happen, this is not my first drama after a death. The last of which I lost three sisters, a step mom and others who I loved, and miss still 12 years later. I have been thinking a lot about them, and what could have been had there not been that plane crash. If my niece would have 7 or more cousins to play with, and more aunts makes me very sad. I love being an aunt, love my niece, and what I considered my sisters for over a decade before. I wish I knew that they were happy, and what their lives are. What they do, their kids names and all. I wish for a lot, and lately again feel the great loss of my Dad and his family all I wish could still be. Eventually I hope to have his site finished, and then all I have gathered will be available to them and for anyone else to see my Skydancer Daddy. I hope to finish Mimi's soon too. I have a lot of the graphics done, just a matter of following through with what I started and ignoring the people who discouraged my ideas and abilities so. It would be wrong to let such people win, and for those who could benifit miss out. Someday I hope not to care what others think, as for today unfortunatly I can't forget even wrong things that have been said, I just hope to go through anyway.
I still have Mimi's cat Sylvia who is not as thin anymore, and beyond happy with the pillowtop I now have. I would hope Mimi would be happy with him being alive and with me, Mojo we know is where he was always meant to be.
I knew all to well what would happen, this is not my first drama after a death. The last of which I lost three sisters, a step mom and others who I loved, and miss still 12 years later. I have been thinking a lot about them, and what could have been had there not been that plane crash. If my niece would have 7 or more cousins to play with, and more aunts makes me very sad. I love being an aunt, love my niece, and what I considered my sisters for over a decade before. I wish I knew that they were happy, and what their lives are. What they do, their kids names and all. I wish for a lot, and lately again feel the great loss of my Dad and his family all I wish could still be. Eventually I hope to have his site finished, and then all I have gathered will be available to them and for anyone else to see my Skydancer Daddy. I hope to finish Mimi's soon too. I have a lot of the graphics done, just a matter of following through with what I started and ignoring the people who discouraged my ideas and abilities so. It would be wrong to let such people win, and for those who could benifit miss out. Someday I hope not to care what others think, as for today unfortunatly I can't forget even wrong things that have been said, I just hope to go through anyway.
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